The Dark Ages

In the beginning, there was light
Quest for knowledge
Ticket dearly bought
Young gun, pistol cocked
Experienced wide and far
But ganja had to be shed
The magic carpet put to bed
Beer was his only friend the nights
The music died
~
The music had already turned
Before the Johns departed
His life turned with the music
Punk and New Age, Rap and Grunge
As the world turned cold
The “Chill” spread throughout
The decade of darkness
The bong was tossed along with
His heart, which
Existed only within the shadows
~
The wine and beer though, flowed
New friends were made in the wake
Of lost shipmates
The girl was there where he left her
Still not knowing her own mind
Slowly stealing what ebb was left
The seas got rocky as beer and gambling
Took over as the favored sins
He was so freaking smart
It was a shame he didn’t have a clue
~
Darkness fell when she got married
Continued when she came running
As she always did
Others were seen along the way
And they saw the troubled son
Adrift within the hallowed halls
Of wisdom
They all took what they came after
And lived for another day
~
Love came running, knocking
At the door, midnight hour
Hope rekindled
Then stolen by the re-gifter
The drifter in the night
Made one last deal with the Devil
As the beat went on and on
Twisting in rainbow colors
Dancing to the tune about
The road to Hades
Laughing in the night
We will never get this right
And so the band played on
~
Somewhere along the way
Hope and joy were lost
Dreams faded into the night
Wisdom was not held
In a plaque upon the wall
Love and dreams failed to ignite
Shadows crept into the soul
A cold, bitter frost settled on the heart
A fire hydrant jumped out and bit him
On a drunken Monday night
The clang of the bars a broken tune
For a broken man
Lost in a broken world
Of his own making
~
And then, with the party over
The music long since died
The angel flown and gone
The book of dreams lying on the floor
Lost and lonely, cast away
Set adrift from population
Walls of darkness hiding
The emptiness within
Until a chance encounter
With a barmaid silk and sassy
Who sang a different tune
And in the end…
Light again
And songs to fill the air
~
Mjcarson
9-21-2007

Multiplied

i don’t own anyone
but i owe a few…here and there
i wish i owed more
for the love given
and received in kind
but my account is all paid up
nothing from nothing…
~
i look forward each and every day
for the future
that i’m headed for
but all those factors…
people that
don’t know who i am…
i can’t understand the one i know
~
i’d never buy a soul
the one i’ve got
is worth so much…
if i could ever see it
put one and one together…
but it always equals zero
~
i’d never throw you away, babe
all i’ve got is me
and what you have to add
can make me whole…
i don’t own anyone
not even myself
but i’d like to add
you to me
and make it equal one
~
m.j.carson
7-23-1984

Virginia Carson Jefferson

I saw it rather clearly on that day
The tears flowing down
From eyes that had seen
99 years of life and death
As I held the same hand that
Held Molly McBride’s over seventy
Years before…seven years before Dad
Was born…you were thirty-four
When he came into your world
27 when Molly went out
And a young 65 when I came in
~
I can see…I can feel…
The girl inside, born in 1893
To the good Doctor P.K. and his Mary…
Did he deliver his own?
Of course he did…
He delivered the whole county
Your brothers Estell and Thurman, who died so young
Sharon and your beloved Sam and Minnie
So very long ago…
I can feel…see the little girl
At seven, waiting on the turn
Of the century
The one you almost made it all
The way through
~
You felt so fragile on that day
As I held you up
And led you over
To see what you never imagined
You would live to see
Your brother’s son lying there
So peaceful and serene
You tell me…in all your darkest hours…
This one you didn’t want to outlive
You tell me…
You can see both of them in me
I tell you…
I can only be me…I hope it is enough
You hold my daughter
And seem to know
They are all here in us
And I see tears of joy
As it was your way
~
This will be
One of the few memories
I will keep from one of the
Worst days of my life
The tears rolling down
Your ninety-nine year old face
Extreme sadness, extreme joy
Life, that’s what you taught me
That’s how you live
To be 102…
Staying young inside
Thank you, great teacher
Great Aunt Virgie
I will sing of you
For all my days
Perhaps I am, after all,
only half-way there

Mike Carson
2-18-2008

Rebel Without A Pen

In the days before the poet was born
I was everywhere but not within
My switchblade hiding in my boots so worn
My mind was hellish bent on mortal sin
~
I was everywhere but not within
Running with the wolves seemed the thing to do
My mind was hellish bent on mortal sin
Youngish rebels with fertile fields to sow
~
Running with the wolves seemed the thing to do
In all the endless summer nights we raved
Youngish rebels with fertile fields to sow
I sought but never found the thing I craved
~
In all the endless summer nights we raved
My switchblade hiding in the boots so worn
I sought but never found the thing I craved
In the days before the poet was born
~
Mike Carson
2-16-2008

Vibes

Mt. Fuji rises
Above the clouds
The sun will soon
Rise again
This much is very clear
One cannot stand
On this ledge
Of time
And not see the future
Traveling back to a day
In 1978
Wounded ship on crutches
Sits in drydock on wobbly legs
Hastily provided
To keep her afloat
Above the murky waters
Of Tokyo Bay
From the deck one can see
The snow-covered peak
Far above the tree-line
Turn…and one can also see
Tokyo skyline
Bustle…hustle
They are busy
In the east
Ready to rise once more
Feel the shudder throughout the keel
Will she ever float again?
~
Mike Carson
2-15-2008

Belinda Gail (Sunrise)

Before you, there was
Formless void, vast emptiness
Life yet to happen

We were bound for each other
Waiting for the sun to rise

Mike Carson
2-14-2008

Hidden Away

IN THE WEE HOURS
OF THE NIGHT
I STILL DREAM
OF A GIRL I MET
YEARS AGO
OF THINGS LONG PAST
OF THE DYING EMBER
DEEP WITHIN
WHY WASN'T I TOLD
OF A WORLD WHERE
DREAMS AND THINGS
ARE ALLOWED TO FADE
AND PEOPLE CRUMBLE
LONG BEFORE THEY DIE
~
I KNOW ABOUT BEING DOWN
AND I'VE BEEN UP A
TIME OR TWO
BUT NOW IT'S TIME
TO SEE HOW FAR
THIS BAREFOOT BOY CAN GO
GET OUTTA MY WAY
I'M HEADED FOR THE TOP
JUST ME AND MY
DREAMS AND THINGS
FOREVERMORE, GLORY BOUND
~
IN THE WEE HOURS
I SEE
A WORLD THAT I DESPISE
FULL OF HATE AND THE HATERS
THEY AREN'T CONTENT
TO LET IT BE - THEY MUST
SPREAD IT EVERYWHERE
AND PEOPLE CRUMBLE
LONG BEFORE THEY DIE
~
I COULD TELL YOU
ALL ABOUT HATRED
IT BURNS THE SOUL
AND FRIES THE VERY HEART OF MAN
I LEFT IT BEHIND
YEARS AGO
'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THEM
THEY STAND
RIGHT OVER THE RIDGE AND WAIT
FOR YOU TO LEAVE AND THEN,
AND THEN...
WHEN THERE'S NO ONE AROUND
THEY HIDE THEM AWAY
WHERE WE CAN'T SEE THEM
FOREVERMORE,
GLORY BOUND
~
IN THE WEE HOURS
I SOMETIMES THINK I'LL
LIVE FOREVER AND A DAY
... BUT SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY
I WOULD WANT TO
THERE'S NO FUTURE IN THE PAST
JUST THINGS TO AVOID
LIKE FIRE HYDRANTS OR
BLUE-EYED GIRLS WITH GOLDEN LOCKS
~
NEVER HAVE FELT LIKE
A WINNER
ONE WHO HAS GOT IT MADE
ALWAYS HAD TO MAKE IT
ON MY OWN
NO ONE TO REALLY COUNT ON
JUST ANOTHER LONELY POET
IS THERE ANY OTHER KIND?
~
THOUGHTS
THAT COME TO BEING
IN THE WEE HOURS
HAVE NO TRUE FORM
JUST A SAD AND LONELY MAN
ALONE WITH THE PAST AND
BOB DYLAN AND THE BAND
ANOTHER TALL BOY - LESS FILLING, OF COURSE
AND THOUGHTS - GOD DAMN THESE THOUGHTS
~
GERRY AND JERRY LEFT
CLIFFORD ALONE WITH HIS THOUGHTS
AND NOW CLIFFORD'S HIDDEN AWAY
FOREVERMORE,
GLORY BOUND
I WEEP FOR THEM ALL
I CRY A TEAR FOR
MY HUMAN RACE
I SURE HOPE THERE IS A FUTURE
WITH A LOT LESS HATE
TODAY I TURN MY HEAD AND SIGH
AND DREAM
IN THE WEE
HOURS OF THE NIGHT
M.J.CARSON
9-17-87

Faith, Nebraska Friday Night…Circa 1975

Stelly balanced the two pitchers on the tray as she glided back to the pool table area, dodging the groping hands, but taking the laser eyes shots with a sigh. Like she would be interested in any of these drunken losers. Most all of them were just like J.J. or Harvey or even worse. As she placed the pitchers down, Tommy Joe leaned back up from his sure thing corner eight ball shot and made his pitch.
“You sure that you’re busy later on, the boss hoss is itching for some action, ‘ya know?”
“I’m busy for the next ten years, Tommy. You know that.”
“I’m just saying…a girl can’t just shrivel up and die now, just because her man’s away for a good while.”
Stelly whirled away and headed back to the bar while fifteen guys stopped whatever they were doing to admire the view. Tommy Joe sank the eight ball loudly and gave up a long, loud catcall before going over to the table to pour another brew.
Stelly was thankful that she hadn’t of fallen for him ten years ago like every other girl in the county. Ten years and 100 pounds ago, Tommy Joe had led the local high school team to the state title. He had then proceeded to attempt to screw every available girl on this side of the state and he seemed to take every failure personally.
It would have been better however, if she had found any man worth a damn. She had fell hard for J.J. after the fortunate death of her first husband Harvey Miller. Harvey’s days of drinking, abusing, and controlling were ended right here in Bob’s Diner one night by a drifter in the night who took offense to something he said. All his rowdy friends from that same championship football team, chased the stranger down and gave him some “down home” justice. They certainly haven’t welcomed strangers to the county much since then.
Bob’s Diner; owned and operated by Fred Miller, brother of Harvey and son-in-law of Bob, is located off the edge of Faith, Nebraska, a town of 487 people founded in 1878 by religious fundamentalists. The principle occupation was farmer, while the secondary occupation was lay around and figure out how to get by with as little work as possible. Bob’s Diner was filled every night with practitioners of that second profession. Stelly knew from J.J.’s problems with the law, that the area was alive with “cash” crops.
Stelly watched Fred frying the giant hamburgers that were the specialty of the house and wondered why more weren’t made like him. Even within the same family, that doesn’t seem to happen, especially around these parts. He had done everything he could to keep her safe during the “Harvey” years and the mad period that followed, but he had married his soul mate in Barbara Jean right after high school and they had been doing the 2.5 kids and picket fence dream for years. Stelly groaned as she watched the bus slow down and turn into the parking lot. “What now?” she said to no one in particular. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing as the five scruffy extremely long-haired guys climbed out of the bus and made their way over to the diner along with the driver. To avoid any trouble; she met “tall, dark and handsome”, the obvious leader of the group, at the door.
“Welcome to Bob’s, I’m Stelly”, Stelly said warmly.
Tall, dark and handsome flashed a thousand watt smile and nodded to her as he said, “Thanks! I just happen to be Bob, too! We’re lost, tired and hungry…figured we would take care of hungry and worry about the rest later.”
Stelly guided them over to the bar and got them six specials ordered and started to hear the grumblings from the back of the bar. She heard the barroom wit, Tommy Joe wondering aloud about their particular gender and preferred sexual partners. The guys pretended not to notice, but she knew that if it continued much longer, things at Bob’s would get out of control. She also knew that it would not do much good to call the Sheriff’s office since half of the deputies were already in the back of the bar drinking their way to oblivion. Stelly walked over to the jukebox and loaded up about 15 songs and leaned under the bar to hit the volume button. When Bad Company began playing “Bad Company”, everything began to settle down. That bunch in the back really put Fred in a bad place every time they get rowdy like that. Stelly had used the jukebox to her favor on many a night, with the sudden silence of the thing signaling “party over”.
As she put the plate in front of Bob, he said, “Thanks Stelly. You may not believe this, but one the buses we lost had those guys in it. We’re a little rock band from Detroit and after getting our first album finished, we were signed on to be the back up band to the back up band for Bad Company’s first tour. We only play the big shows and fill in if someone gets sick, but it’s pretty wild. Those guys are signed up with Led Zeppelin’s label, did you know that?”
“Yes…I love music, and love those guys. Do you have anything on the radio yet? I would love to hear it.”
“Only a couple of good songs that were local hits…hopefully we will be on that jukebox before you know it…I’ve been writing some new songs, trying out a new sound, just making it real. I think that’s the best way to go, if songs from your life aren’t good enough, then so be it.”
“I hear you…I guess I got a few stories to tell, don’t we all?”
“They’re just waiting on the proper time, don’t you think.”
“Yes, and speaking of time…I am not sure how long I can keep that bunch back there in control. They’re not so bright sober…they are downright morons on Friday night, and there is some history here of trouble with strangers.”
“Well, about that…I was going to ask how it would be if we snuck the bus out back and camped out until morning. We are all beat and we can find the rest of those guys tomorrow.”
Stelly walked back to the grill and whispered something in Fred’s ear. Fred looked up at the bar and nodded his head yes. Stelly came back to the bar and told Bob yes, but to make sure that the boys in the back didn’t see them pull back there. “I’ll go check on you guys before I leave to make sure you’re ok.”
“If that’s what you want,” replied Bob sincerely.
Stelly placed her hand over his and looked into his deep blue eyes as she said, “I am not sure that I ever wanted anything quite this badly before.”
Bob smiled, kissed her hand and told her not to worry, that he felt it every bit as much as she. All the rest of the night, Stelly kept the beer flowing as fast as possible, knowing that the deputies would be forced to break it up early after the limits were reached. CYA is the golden rule everywhere and even the “Good Ole Boy Network” had its limitations. She had the bar emptied and closed a full hour early and stood nervously at the door of the bus. Bob met her at the door and took her by the hand and guided her towards the bedroom in the back. [insert obligatory Hollywood fadeout]
They lay in each other’s arms and gazed into each other’s eyes as Bob caressed Stelly’s hair. “It can’t be Stelly, can it?”
“No,” she laughed. “It’s Estella…Estella Louise.”
“Very pretty name, Estella. I think that you are both, Stelly and Estella.”
“You’ll be miles away by tomorrow night and I’ll be forgotten.”
“I may be miles away, but your memory will remain forever girl.”
And looking into his eyes, she knew this was true. She knew also that somewhere down the road…she would be remembered and incorporated into a song. Maybe it would get on the radio and she could play her song on the jukebox and smile. At that moment she knew…it was enough.
“You know, you could come with me.”
Stelly thought of Suzy; her five year old angel, the only good thing Harvey had ever done his life. She thought of her sweet, miss-guided fool of a husband J.J. sitting in his prison cell wanting nothing but to get back to her. She thought of Fred and Barbara Jean and her sister at home watching the angel, and all the other people she took care of in the course of her days and nights.
“As much as I would love to roll away with you down that highway, I think I have been Stelly too long to ever be Estella again.”
As they said their goodbyes, they heard a commotion outside and rushed out investigate. There stood a very drunk Tommy Joe and most of his entourage with weapons of destruction in each hand. If not for the weapons, she would have laughed out loud at the way they swayed to and fro. She had really socked the beer to them and they were still showing the results of those 2 hours later. Someone must have seen the bus and they must have fumed for a few hours getting their courage up. And stumbling around quite a bit in the process and that was the thought that did it…not able to hold it in any longer, she busted out with uncontrollable laughter. She walked over to Tommy Joe and whispered something in his ear and he grinned and turned to the guys and told them to go on home. As it was breaking up, Stelly went over to tell Bob goodbye.
“What did you say to him?”
“I just promised to give him what he always wanted,” she said with a grin. “The fool will pass out before we ever get that far and he won’t remember any of it anyway. That’s the difference between a boy and a man, knowing what’s really important and not forgetting it. Life is like a book that’s not written yet and every day we turn a new page. I’m glad we were a page in each other’s book, Bob. Go on now, roll on before I decide to let you roll me away.”
Stelly smiled as she watched the bus drive off. She smiled even bigger when she turned and saw that Tommy Joe had indeed passed out in the back of his pickup truck. She had plans for Tommy Joe. It was very possible that the “boss hoss” was going to suffer a major blow to his reputation…could be people might question Tommy Joe’s orientation by the time she was through. She got into the pickup truck humming “Bad Company”.

Passing Through The Pouring Now

winding road unfolds
as far becomes near and now
the mountains passed…fade

Mike Carson
2-4-2008

King Of The Printed Word

So much potential
lies in
the old royal
typewriter
its' green keys
waiting
for the words
to form

Poetic Dreams

Considering the price we have to pay
Why a poet would do it, who can know?
Struggles are many, but we win the day
~
Seeing as how there’s so damn much to say
Guard your ideals against the wind that blows
All I ever wanted…to show the way
~
In our daily strife, silence held at bay
Many the storms that toss us to and fro
Struggles are many, but we win the day
~
Observing life’s light until the last ray
Seeing is believing, let your light show
All I ever wanted…to show the way
~
At the end of the day, let your head lay
By your sweet love’s side, shining from the glow
Struggles are many, but we win the day
~
A journey well worth the taking, come what may
Beauty is found in the rhythm and the flow
Struggles are many, but we win the day
All I ever wanted…to show the way
~
Mjcarson8-14-2007